This Year: $31,885 (Total Accumulated Debt: $81,123 with no interest)

I'd say my soul is dead, but I don't believe in such things. Guess who just downgraded to "worthless sack of proteins"? Oh, me. For spring quarter my pathetic ass earned a 65% - officially the lowest course score I've ever received in my life. I think that's a "C-" somehow on the fishy scale they use at this piece of shit school, though. Doubt that makes any difference. I spend most of my days avoiding humanity and drying to get up the will to do things like eat an finish homework. Our teachers have decided to up the level of difficulty meaning I haven't earned a genuine passing score on any quiz or essay in weeks, to my memory. I hate every moment here. Most of class is serves no purpose and teaches me nothing. Because of the busy work and spirit-killing quizzes and essay-tests actual studying doesn't happen. Thanks to my personality I have very few friends. A few weeks ago I was called into a 3 hour conference with the head of the department in which I was told my teachers hate having me in their classes. Literally. I got complaints like "You close your books too loudly." And, "all your classmates find you disruptive and wish you weren't there." Anytime I cried, the man laughed at me. I feel like a trapped animal. Letting Maria assign me to this school was the worst mistake of my academic career. Every night I dream of a place where I might have value. I'm afraid that in all of this that the Trio has somewhat given up on me. I seldom see Hotaru, and when I do it seems like being around me is a chore. I haven't talked to Luna in months and assume she doesn't give a shit. And, when Akane came I was so panicked over finals, I wonder if I didn't just piss her off.

I hate this. I hate this place. I hate myself. I'm not in Japan anymore, I'm back in purgatory. I have no joy in my life. None. Nothing I look foreward to. Not a damn thing. It takes me at least 20 minutes to talk myself out of bed in the morning; to convince myself that it is worth it at all. I'm just waiting for it to end. I want this all to end. I don't know how I can avoid taking 3rd year over again. There's no way after being at this low level a school I can do well on an Iowa placement test. That's it. The end.