World Upsidedownwards
May. 22nd, 2009 11:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kazariWell, it happened. My little sister graduated from college with a degree in nursing. On time. And, with less than half the amount of debt that I have. But, as a karmic reward, she has yet to find a job. What this means now is... We're all living together again. My mother, father, my troll of a little sister, and hermit myself. We're stuck in this slightly rundown two story midwestern suburban time loop. That's what it fees like, anyway.
My little sibling and I have never gotten along. And, you can rest assured, time has not changed this at all. She's still as selfish and demanding and prone to temper tantrums as when she was 10. Case in point: Two nights ago she walked right up to me and started laying into me for being "lazy" and getting a stupid degree and on and on and on. You know the drill. I look just as bad on paper these days as I do in person, yeah? The crazy turned up when she finished her tirade and immediately demanded that I drop what I was doing and go fetch my computer and cables and whatnot to hook up to the TV so she could watch How I Met Your Mother reruns from season 3. It did not occur to this 22 year old college graduate at all that perhaps you shouldn't blatantly insult someone and then demand they do you a favor in that order over the course of a few minutes. This has been a continuing theme.
I want to get out of here. I really do. But, it isn't as painful to watch as it used to be. I've become a zen monk when it comes to my family's bickering. While we were unloading the contents of my sibling's college apartment from the borrowed transport truck, my sibling took the opportunity to start laying into my father about what a loser he is and how she didn't really want half of this furniture anyway. This was the furniture we had disassembled, loaded into the truck, transported across the state, and were now helping her unload at our parents' house where she would be staying and keeping her things for free, mind you. Really, how stupid can you be? If you're going to insult someone, at least wait until after they've done you that favor! But, it didn't even phase me as it went down. I saw the fight brewing a mile away. Just as they were getting ready to blow, I stepped in and suggested that they were never going to agree and we should unload the truck in silence. It... actually worked.
She's gone this weekend, thankfully. On a "float trip" filled with alcohol. It's been two weeks since she moved in again and the down-her-nose tirade rate has averaged two per day. I haven't studied in days because of the crazy. The house is also filled with her junk. I won't complain about the junk yet, though. I was just as disorganized and space-consuming with my junk when I moved back. I've made a pointed effort to keep all of my thinks neatly stored in their proper places in my room at all times since the organizations and renovations were completed. Well, whatever.
I need a to do list. I'm all out of sorts. Spring is here. Hotaru's in town. My sibling's here. I'm heavier than usual. The list is long. I really really need a to do list.
Oh, right. I haven't mentioned anything about my career plans here in ages. I should do that.
It took a while after my terrible interview and series if ignored applications/resume postings to regroup. But, I've formed a tentative plan. I've continued to attempt to learn to drive, but it's still slow going. I've now failed the test once. My problem? Didn't signal enough. I'm going to give it another go in June. In theory if I can properly get my driver's licence, I can easily hop into the AAA and get an international driver's licence -something listed as a requirement on a weird number of Japanese job postings. I also enrolled in a TEFL certification course in July. With any luck not only will the certification pad my resume, but the in-class feedback and lesson plan making lessons will give me a leg up in the interview process. It's looking more and more like my only real option will be to scrounge up enough cash to take a job seeking trip to Japan sometime in the fall. I still haven't figured out the visa situation, though. I have questions no one seems to have answers to.
But, I'm still working towards returning to Japan. More than anything else these past few weeks I've been falling into myself and working hard to, well, lower my expectations about my future. I watched the movie "Waiting..." and had an epiphany moment when I realized I would now practically kill to have a full time job at a local restaurant. Unemployment has affected me that much at this point.
My leisure time has been pretty satisfying though. I've lost a few nights sleep to the wonder that is the reblooming Star Trek fandom. Between my LiveJournal "startrek" friends list filter and K/S Archive I'm not sure how I haven't become entirely nocturnal! I started a community for Kirk/Spock/Uhura because it seemed appropriate and threesomes have become incredibly appealing to me. Surprisingly, the comm is moderately successful and has regular posts with over 250 members.
I also caved and signed up for DreamWidth under the name Kazari. For the maybe two people who might read this and be curious, "Kazari" was how the foster care center kids would always mishear my name in Japan. They'd see or hear "Caitlin" which would end up in Japanese as "Keitorin" and in their minds this would not compute as a single foreign name. They'd think I said "Kei and Rin". So, they'd over correct and assume I meant "Kathrine". Well, the Japanese pronunciation of "Kathrine" is a letter off of the word for decoration, Kazari. This exact misunderstanding occurred at least three times. So, the kids just gave up and called me Kazari/decoration. So, new weeaboo username with a bit of history.
Socially things are pretty low key. I still see Akane about once a week... Most of the time. Hotaru is stressed enough to seem pretty pissed at me all three or four times I've spoken to her in the past week. I hope SaJo is still alive. I don't know where she disappeared to, but I miss her oodles. Miss Sari, too. I was a total cunt to them at Naka-kon. I'm really just pleased Sajo and Sari are still theoretically civil with me, you know? I'm trying to figure out a way to meet up with a bunch of people I know from NUFS in July in Ohio on a budget. I've got some ideas. No idea how it will pan out.
Alright. This is already too long. Gotta move along.
My little sibling and I have never gotten along. And, you can rest assured, time has not changed this at all. She's still as selfish and demanding and prone to temper tantrums as when she was 10. Case in point: Two nights ago she walked right up to me and started laying into me for being "lazy" and getting a stupid degree and on and on and on. You know the drill. I look just as bad on paper these days as I do in person, yeah? The crazy turned up when she finished her tirade and immediately demanded that I drop what I was doing and go fetch my computer and cables and whatnot to hook up to the TV so she could watch How I Met Your Mother reruns from season 3. It did not occur to this 22 year old college graduate at all that perhaps you shouldn't blatantly insult someone and then demand they do you a favor in that order over the course of a few minutes. This has been a continuing theme.
I want to get out of here. I really do. But, it isn't as painful to watch as it used to be. I've become a zen monk when it comes to my family's bickering. While we were unloading the contents of my sibling's college apartment from the borrowed transport truck, my sibling took the opportunity to start laying into my father about what a loser he is and how she didn't really want half of this furniture anyway. This was the furniture we had disassembled, loaded into the truck, transported across the state, and were now helping her unload at our parents' house where she would be staying and keeping her things for free, mind you. Really, how stupid can you be? If you're going to insult someone, at least wait until after they've done you that favor! But, it didn't even phase me as it went down. I saw the fight brewing a mile away. Just as they were getting ready to blow, I stepped in and suggested that they were never going to agree and we should unload the truck in silence. It... actually worked.
She's gone this weekend, thankfully. On a "float trip" filled with alcohol. It's been two weeks since she moved in again and the down-her-nose tirade rate has averaged two per day. I haven't studied in days because of the crazy. The house is also filled with her junk. I won't complain about the junk yet, though. I was just as disorganized and space-consuming with my junk when I moved back. I've made a pointed effort to keep all of my thinks neatly stored in their proper places in my room at all times since the organizations and renovations were completed. Well, whatever.
I need a to do list. I'm all out of sorts. Spring is here. Hotaru's in town. My sibling's here. I'm heavier than usual. The list is long. I really really need a to do list.
Oh, right. I haven't mentioned anything about my career plans here in ages. I should do that.
It took a while after my terrible interview and series if ignored applications/resume postings to regroup. But, I've formed a tentative plan. I've continued to attempt to learn to drive, but it's still slow going. I've now failed the test once. My problem? Didn't signal enough. I'm going to give it another go in June. In theory if I can properly get my driver's licence, I can easily hop into the AAA and get an international driver's licence -something listed as a requirement on a weird number of Japanese job postings. I also enrolled in a TEFL certification course in July. With any luck not only will the certification pad my resume, but the in-class feedback and lesson plan making lessons will give me a leg up in the interview process. It's looking more and more like my only real option will be to scrounge up enough cash to take a job seeking trip to Japan sometime in the fall. I still haven't figured out the visa situation, though. I have questions no one seems to have answers to.
But, I'm still working towards returning to Japan. More than anything else these past few weeks I've been falling into myself and working hard to, well, lower my expectations about my future. I watched the movie "Waiting..." and had an epiphany moment when I realized I would now practically kill to have a full time job at a local restaurant. Unemployment has affected me that much at this point.
My leisure time has been pretty satisfying though. I've lost a few nights sleep to the wonder that is the reblooming Star Trek fandom. Between my LiveJournal "startrek" friends list filter and K/S Archive I'm not sure how I haven't become entirely nocturnal! I started a community for Kirk/Spock/Uhura because it seemed appropriate and threesomes have become incredibly appealing to me. Surprisingly, the comm is moderately successful and has regular posts with over 250 members.
I also caved and signed up for DreamWidth under the name Kazari. For the maybe two people who might read this and be curious, "Kazari" was how the foster care center kids would always mishear my name in Japan. They'd see or hear "Caitlin" which would end up in Japanese as "Keitorin" and in their minds this would not compute as a single foreign name. They'd think I said "Kei and Rin". So, they'd over correct and assume I meant "Kathrine". Well, the Japanese pronunciation of "Kathrine" is a letter off of the word for decoration, Kazari. This exact misunderstanding occurred at least three times. So, the kids just gave up and called me Kazari/decoration. So, new weeaboo username with a bit of history.
Socially things are pretty low key. I still see Akane about once a week... Most of the time. Hotaru is stressed enough to seem pretty pissed at me all three or four times I've spoken to her in the past week. I hope SaJo is still alive. I don't know where she disappeared to, but I miss her oodles. Miss Sari, too. I was a total cunt to them at Naka-kon. I'm really just pleased Sajo and Sari are still theoretically civil with me, you know? I'm trying to figure out a way to meet up with a bunch of people I know from NUFS in July in Ohio on a budget. I've got some ideas. No idea how it will pan out.
Alright. This is already too long. Gotta move along.
