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GQMFs
I've spent so much time reading this past week I've almost forgotten I have a personal journal here. Between ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trek_news and ontd_startrek my obsession isn't fading. I'm so involved now that I even managed to make a series of successful posts on ontd_startrek. It's weird being excited about a fandom that people are actively contributing to, talking about, and participating in. I'm very used to being the only one who likes something at any given time; alone in my little cave happily reading and perusing and acquiring.
...which brings me to something that's been bothering me a little bit lately. I went to see Star Trek again with Akane and Cassie on Sunday night during the epic storms of awesome that passed over KC. Having seen it twice before, and now having heard a good part of the audio book, I was able to concentrate on the details more than before. While the bulk of the named female characters on screen are male, and the few female ones are often represented mostly as lovers or mothers, there is a shit ton of diversity on screen at any given time. There are dark skinned Romulans. There are girls all over the bridge of the Enterprise. There are unidentifiable aliens all over the place. But, still, I thought it felt like a guy movie. Explosions and hotties and space ships. That's guy territory, right? But, damn. I don't seem to see many men interested in it. That community I mentioned above,ontd_startrek is a celebrity gossip com and capslock com at it's heart, but I'd figured at least a few dudes had wondered in, yeah? Nope. A recent poll showed it's 98% female. Granted I haven't ventured far outside LiveJournal or Dreamwidth after seeing the film a second time, but it does have me curious: Where are all the guys?
No, really. Where are all the guys in fandom? Any fandom? I know LiveJournal has a 2-to-1 ratio when it comes to women so men are already outnumbered here. I also know that fan fiction is predominantly a female medium. But, when I go to conventions, it seems like girls dominate. And, fan artists I follow on deviantart are usually female. So, seriously, tell me. Where are all the men hiding? I was always told as a kid and a teen that I was weird for liking science fiction. It isn't a girl thing. It's a guy thing. Anime had that vibe, too, for a long time. Generally, fandom was a guy place. Was? Was it ever? Do men even like explosions and space ships anymore? Or is it just that guys these days watch things like Star Trek or Transformers or whatnot and just...forget it once it's out of sight. They'll watch it on TV or in the theatre or buy it on DVD and then they're done. Is that it? No cons, no meta, no fic, no art, discussion, no...nothing. It feels like it.
The only fanish thing I can think of that I see more men involved in than women would be gaming. I used to know a lot of guys really into Resident Evil and Halo. But, I know more girls into WoW than boys. I've never played nor have I been tempted to play WoW so I don't know what the gender balance is really like there. Is it true? Are the fannish arts all girl zones now? Where are the boys hiding?
Alright. Back to reality stuff.
I'm restless without the energy to do anything about it. I need to force myself back out of my cave. I'm reverting even further into this mentality of the 14-year-old me. In order to stay sane living in a house with my mother and father and little sister again, I've fallen inside of myself. I'm spending my nights reading into the wee hours of the morning. I seldom talk. I'm more interested in internet talking heads than humans. Worst of all, I'm losing my nerve. I'm becoming shy again. Just a little. I have to actually put effort into not being shy. This hasn't been a real problem in....years. It was a startling revelation, this. I want to say I'm looking forward to this TEFL course's completion so that I might have a chance of breaking back out of here, but I'm actually more nervous about it than excited. I hate this feeling. I was 14 once. I don't need to be 14 again.
I wonder how much of it is my sibling just draining the energy out of the house. She's started to pick even more fights per day and over smaller and smaller things. She'll just blow up at anything. And, my father has the memory of a gold fish. I've had to answer the same five or six questions every other day for the past month. Sometimes it feels like I'm just living the same drab day over and over again.
I got measurements of Hotaru's little cousin and have sort of started on the dress. I took a while starting because, well, it's a nightmare project. I'm working on a dress for a kid made of satin and other delicate fabrics meant to be worn for a formal occasion and commissioned by a paying customer. I keep thinking of Carol, the woman I worked with at the library who previously owned her own business making custom dresses for bridal parties. She hated it. Her one piece of advice to me was to never follow in her footsteps. Uh, oops? Now, don't get me wrong. I'll dedicate my full energies into making this little flower girl's dress as pretty as a princess's, but oh will I be frustrated afterwards.
trek_news and ontd_startrek my obsession isn't fading. I'm so involved now that I even managed to make a series of successful posts on ontd_startrek. It's weird being excited about a fandom that people are actively contributing to, talking about, and participating in. I'm very used to being the only one who likes something at any given time; alone in my little cave happily reading and perusing and acquiring. ...which brings me to something that's been bothering me a little bit lately. I went to see Star Trek again with Akane and Cassie on Sunday night during the epic storms of awesome that passed over KC. Having seen it twice before, and now having heard a good part of the audio book, I was able to concentrate on the details more than before. While the bulk of the named female characters on screen are male, and the few female ones are often represented mostly as lovers or mothers, there is a shit ton of diversity on screen at any given time. There are dark skinned Romulans. There are girls all over the bridge of the Enterprise. There are unidentifiable aliens all over the place. But, still, I thought it felt like a guy movie. Explosions and hotties and space ships. That's guy territory, right? But, damn. I don't seem to see many men interested in it. That community I mentioned above,
ontd_startrek is a celebrity gossip com and capslock com at it's heart, but I'd figured at least a few dudes had wondered in, yeah? Nope. A recent poll showed it's 98% female. Granted I haven't ventured far outside LiveJournal or Dreamwidth after seeing the film a second time, but it does have me curious: Where are all the guys? No, really. Where are all the guys in fandom? Any fandom? I know LiveJournal has a 2-to-1 ratio when it comes to women so men are already outnumbered here. I also know that fan fiction is predominantly a female medium. But, when I go to conventions, it seems like girls dominate. And, fan artists I follow on deviantart are usually female. So, seriously, tell me. Where are all the men hiding? I was always told as a kid and a teen that I was weird for liking science fiction. It isn't a girl thing. It's a guy thing. Anime had that vibe, too, for a long time. Generally, fandom was a guy place. Was? Was it ever? Do men even like explosions and space ships anymore? Or is it just that guys these days watch things like Star Trek or Transformers or whatnot and just...forget it once it's out of sight. They'll watch it on TV or in the theatre or buy it on DVD and then they're done. Is that it? No cons, no meta, no fic, no art, discussion, no...nothing. It feels like it.
The only fanish thing I can think of that I see more men involved in than women would be gaming. I used to know a lot of guys really into Resident Evil and Halo. But, I know more girls into WoW than boys. I've never played nor have I been tempted to play WoW so I don't know what the gender balance is really like there. Is it true? Are the fannish arts all girl zones now? Where are the boys hiding?
Alright. Back to reality stuff.
I'm restless without the energy to do anything about it. I need to force myself back out of my cave. I'm reverting even further into this mentality of the 14-year-old me. In order to stay sane living in a house with my mother and father and little sister again, I've fallen inside of myself. I'm spending my nights reading into the wee hours of the morning. I seldom talk. I'm more interested in internet talking heads than humans. Worst of all, I'm losing my nerve. I'm becoming shy again. Just a little. I have to actually put effort into not being shy. This hasn't been a real problem in....years. It was a startling revelation, this. I want to say I'm looking forward to this TEFL course's completion so that I might have a chance of breaking back out of here, but I'm actually more nervous about it than excited. I hate this feeling. I was 14 once. I don't need to be 14 again.
I wonder how much of it is my sibling just draining the energy out of the house. She's started to pick even more fights per day and over smaller and smaller things. She'll just blow up at anything. And, my father has the memory of a gold fish. I've had to answer the same five or six questions every other day for the past month. Sometimes it feels like I'm just living the same drab day over and over again.
I got measurements of Hotaru's little cousin and have sort of started on the dress. I took a while starting because, well, it's a nightmare project. I'm working on a dress for a kid made of satin and other delicate fabrics meant to be worn for a formal occasion and commissioned by a paying customer. I keep thinking of Carol, the woman I worked with at the library who previously owned her own business making custom dresses for bridal parties. She hated it. Her one piece of advice to me was to never follow in her footsteps. Uh, oops? Now, don't get me wrong. I'll dedicate my full energies into making this little flower girl's dress as pretty as a princess's, but oh will I be frustrated afterwards.