My Place in Time

[kazari]

A little less than a month after I crashed my drive and lost my music I'm still not 100% up to par. I've managed to reacquire or newly acquire, check, and sort 674 albums compared to a 944 total count the afternoon before it crashed. Grad total across my collection is now a sorted 175 English, 929 Japanese, and a pathetic 16 Korean albums. It seems so ridonkulous written out, but I miss my complete collection. I had gotten to the point, before, where I had almost everything I could ever want to listen to. I'd gotten discographies and rips from every person with a music collecting fetish that I'd met over the course of two years. Now, I'm in that interim collection building process again. The organization of my recent re-acquisitions, though, is finally almost finished. It would have gone faster, but I can't seem to bring myself to sort more than about 30 albums at a time. After about 30 in one sitting, I start to get frustrated and twitchy. Still, I get a freaky satisfaction seeing all the pretty little album arts in a row with proper track and album information in the proper language displayed in the WMP album view.

In other news, the JLPT was a bit brutal, but as expected. I now have a fair bit more direction and motivation, but a hell of a lot less hope, than before. However, getting into and out of Chicago? Holy fuck. Unanimous decision amongst me, myself, and I to never live there was made sometime around the second hour of being lost downtown during Sunday night rush hour. What the fuck.

Restlessness is my friend and my enemy these days. I have exactly one week of work left. Today was my last undergrad class ever. My final is on Tuesday. Graduation is next Saturday. Move out next Sunday. I got my hair cut and the color touched up for the photos and bought my cap and gown yesterday. I want it all to hurry up and finish and at the same time I don't want it to happen. I've seldom ever had the kind of regrets that made me wish I could relive any part of my life. But lately I've been fantasizing about what I would do if I went to sleep tonight and woke up the same day a year prior. The fantasy is extensive and detailed. Nothing is exempt. I'd go to even more concerts. I'd drop Doug like the bad habit he was before he dropped me. I'd maintain a more polite distance over the winter break from the Taekwondo crew so as to not make their lives more awkward with my big mouth. I'd spend more time with Alyssa, Mai, and Megan. I'd exercise or eat better to improve that sluggish feeling I couldn't shake. I'd know what to study and when. I'd know my computer damage was more extensive and what needed to be done to fix it and fix it quick. I'd know what was waiting for me when I got back to the UoI. I'd know how to deal with my teachers. I'd work harder not to create a rift between me and Luna. I'd life a life fulfilled in 12 months instead of a life of fear. It's a slippery slope, me falling into fear. But this fantasy isn't healthy. I hope I'll be able to shake it soon.

In other news, I'm fascinated with spies and military personnel in television drama. Not film, just TV drama. I don't know why. Boy spies, girl spies, ex-spies. Navy, marines, special forces. Not sure if this whole thing is more or less odd than any other facination I've had.

Maybe I'll blame it all on the season.

Comments

[aranel-gamgee.livejournal.com]

*snorts* Now you know why when people ask me how often I go into the City, I blink and say "Never." I hate Chicago traffic.

[mizuno-caitlin.livejournal.com]

Yes. *headdesk* I think we managed to get into every slow down mentioned on the radio. Even saw one of the car accidents! And it was like 2 degrees with wind outside. Why do people live in Chicago??

[aranel-gamgee.livejournal.com]

It's mostly made up of corrupt bastards with ice for souls, so they don't really feel the cold all that much. That's what I tell myself, anyhow.

[mizuno-caitlin.livejournal.com]

*snigger* Sounds about right!

[ai-no-shinobi.livejournal.com]

I've always had a thing for tactical/military/SWAT shows that come on TV. The Unit was my fav for a while. Funny thing is I didn't enjoy 24 like everyone else seemed to. My big thing recently was Burn Notice. That stuff is entertaining and informative.

[mizuno-caitlin.livejournal.com]

You have hit the nail on the head! I recently did a Burn Notice marathon and have just been introduced to The Unit. XD I've also been watching My Own Worst Enemy pretty religiously. Sad it's been canceled. And, of course, NCIS. 24 just seems... goofy from the bits I've seen. I've never gotten into it, either.

I guess it's strange because I would never have thought to watch these shows a few years ago.

[saa-ai.livejournal.com]

I feel like we should have another music sharing party. But that's a bit too challenging right now, ne? ^^;;

Although you can't change the past, you can change the future! Use those "lessons you've learned" to prepare you for the next chapter in your life.

At least, that's what Oprah or my mom would say. I say either deal with it and move on, don't let it keep you from futhering your life, and if it -really- irks you that bad, make a time machine.

[mizuno-caitlin.livejournal.com]

XD Like over Skype? Yeah, wait until the holiday season. This connection is epicly slow, but the one my parents have would work nicely.

I'm trying. ;-;

*snort* I'm thinking that when my situation changes again in a week, my regrets will change priority. I'm guessing. It isn't a desperate situation by any measure, just...a fantasy.