364 til a quarter century
Jan. 10th, 2009 12:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kazariI'm an hour into being 24 and trying not to think about it. I feel more than a little like I have something to prove. It's my birthday! Sheesh! With a little luck I'll be more relaxed when I wake up in the morning.
The perpetual cleaning of the ol' room at the parents' house is finally drawing to a close. I can never get rid of enough stuff, true, but the floor space is open and the shelves are neatly organized and the closet is tidy and the drawers are almost completely empty of unwanted things. Now, I just have to pick out a color scheme and paint the walls, the furniture, and get some new carpet in here and it will be a livable space that doesn't inspire more shame than it gives comfort. I mean... pastel green carpet mixed with pale pink and light blue furniture against white walls? I feel like an infant in here sometimes.
Now to recycle and donate the growing pile of everything I didn't want or need...
I set to writing out a real resume the other day sort of at Elizabeth's prompting and only got about 10 lines into it before I lost my nerve. Sad as it sounds, I'm going to have to get my father to sit down with me and coax me into finishing it properly. In preparation set up a second gmail address that isn't so weeaboo as my current one (ie my actual name and not some handle) and then tied them together so one dumps email into the other and both can reply with either address as the sender. I think I'm dragging my feet more and more because in large part to my cable news obsession. Every day the easiest story to report on is about the slowing economy and job loss. Not-so-subconsciously I'm afraid to put myself out there for anything because I know how inferior I am as a possible hire. There's a mountain of professional rejection in my future and I'm just not looking forward to it.
Also, I've started to become a bit silly about my profile pictures. Over the course of the past few months I'd gone through and updated the photos and information on all of my accounts on costuming sites. Then, a few weeks ago I did the same for all my profile and blog sites. Right now, they all have accurate information and the same current photo. I told myself when I put that all together that I'd keep up with that. I made a resolution to, about once a month or so, take a nice normal portrait of myself and update all these profile pages. Thing is, I can't seem to convince myself that any of the pictures I took this round beat the one I have up now and my own vanity stops me before I upload anything. Maybe I'll have the nerve tomorrow. Or I'll take another round of photos. Who knows? Maybe all this weight I've put on has something to do with it. I feel like I don't fit in my clothes anymore. No joke. I'm not 146 anymore. I'm 152. I've reached a new high and it scares me a little. I feel like this isn't my skin that I'm in. But, it's the dead of winter and I have no transportation to anywhere I can really move around in. And, my parents treat cooking like high art. I don't know if I have it in me to both say no to the food of delicious death and find a consistent way to get out and move around.
Time will tell.
The perpetual cleaning of the ol' room at the parents' house is finally drawing to a close. I can never get rid of enough stuff, true, but the floor space is open and the shelves are neatly organized and the closet is tidy and the drawers are almost completely empty of unwanted things. Now, I just have to pick out a color scheme and paint the walls, the furniture, and get some new carpet in here and it will be a livable space that doesn't inspire more shame than it gives comfort. I mean... pastel green carpet mixed with pale pink and light blue furniture against white walls? I feel like an infant in here sometimes.
Now to recycle and donate the growing pile of everything I didn't want or need...
I set to writing out a real resume the other day sort of at Elizabeth's prompting and only got about 10 lines into it before I lost my nerve. Sad as it sounds, I'm going to have to get my father to sit down with me and coax me into finishing it properly. In preparation set up a second gmail address that isn't so weeaboo as my current one (ie my actual name and not some handle) and then tied them together so one dumps email into the other and both can reply with either address as the sender. I think I'm dragging my feet more and more because in large part to my cable news obsession. Every day the easiest story to report on is about the slowing economy and job loss. Not-so-subconsciously I'm afraid to put myself out there for anything because I know how inferior I am as a possible hire. There's a mountain of professional rejection in my future and I'm just not looking forward to it.
Also, I've started to become a bit silly about my profile pictures. Over the course of the past few months I'd gone through and updated the photos and information on all of my accounts on costuming sites. Then, a few weeks ago I did the same for all my profile and blog sites. Right now, they all have accurate information and the same current photo. I told myself when I put that all together that I'd keep up with that. I made a resolution to, about once a month or so, take a nice normal portrait of myself and update all these profile pages. Thing is, I can't seem to convince myself that any of the pictures I took this round beat the one I have up now and my own vanity stops me before I upload anything. Maybe I'll have the nerve tomorrow. Or I'll take another round of photos. Who knows? Maybe all this weight I've put on has something to do with it. I feel like I don't fit in my clothes anymore. No joke. I'm not 146 anymore. I'm 152. I've reached a new high and it scares me a little. I feel like this isn't my skin that I'm in. But, it's the dead of winter and I have no transportation to anywhere I can really move around in. And, my parents treat cooking like high art. I don't know if I have it in me to both say no to the food of delicious death and find a consistent way to get out and move around.
Time will tell.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 02:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-11 07:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 04:02 pm (UTC)And I love Gmail specifically for the ability to tie all of my accounts into one. It's awesome.
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Date: 2009-01-11 07:33 pm (UTC)It didn't always have this feature, I know. Before they switched from invite only to open account creation, I made myself this second account and couldn't for the life of me get one to foreward mail to the other. Thank goodness Google never sleeps! =D
no subject
Date: 2009-01-11 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-11 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-11 07:57 am (UTC)Egads, I have been wanting to do that since I set up my professional account a couple years ago--how?? (I never had the patience to sit down and figure it out myself.)
As predicted earlier, I did indeed forget it was ANYONE's birthday today, and I am sorry for it. Happy belated birthday, since today is now tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-11 07:36 pm (UTC)XD It worked out~ My buddy Elizabeth and Akane and I went out for lunch. Akane bought me not only said lunch, but three games at GameStop. Finally getting to play Katamari. =3
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Date: 2009-01-11 09:16 pm (UTC)Ooooooh, Katamari! Size DOES matter! XD
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Date: 2009-01-11 09:43 pm (UTC)=D I'm enjoying it way more than I should a game so old. I'm always 5 years behind the bandwagon. It's so cute!!!